There was dis ole lady who walk into Barclays bank in Water St., GT. She had a 10 lb paper bag, full ah $20 bills. Anyway, she walk up to de cashier gal and seh in the best british accent she has: Young lady, I want to open an account, and I have a really big deposit to make.
"Let me see your manager, because he is the only person I can trust." De cashier was really upset about dis insult, but she rememba dat de customer is "always right"
So, she call de manager, who checked out de bag, and invited dis ole lady into he office. All dis time, de bank manager really curious. (Of course, he is local!)
So, he ask: Ma'm, if it pleases you, where did you get all this money from?
Ole lady: I bet.
Manager: So, you visit the tracks or do you bet in the horse race parlours? The parlours are dangerous you know.
Ole lady: No, I just make personal bets. Would you like to make a personal bet with me, young man?
Manager: That depends.
Ole lady: I will bet you that exactly at 8.30 am tomorrow, your balls will become square. Let us bet $100, 000.
Manager, agreeing to the bet and thinking: I can win that. All my life, these jewels have been the same way, there's no way they will change overnite.
After de ole lady leff, de manager still nat wanting to tek chances, decide to cancel he cricket match dat afternoon, tek a taxi rather than ride home. All went well, de jewels remain de same. Dis fella really checking!
Anyway, the next maaning, de ole lady show up with a fella, who by his looks alone, had to be a lawyer (which he was).
De ole lady insisted to see de jewels. Manager sehs, OK.
De ole lady sehs: I have to be sure. I want to feel them to be really sure. manager sehs, OK.
As soon as de ole lady start to check, de manager noticed de lawyer started to bang his head pon de desk, really hard too.
Fearing de worse, de manager ask: What is his problem?
De ole lady sehs: Oh, don't worry with him. He just lost a bet we made. You see, I bet him that I can have the manager by the balls, and he did not believe. For that, he has to pay me $500,000.
It was nice doing business with you, sonny!
lol... gotta watch out for these lil' old ladies.